Give yourself permission to thrive, not just survive

That’s a wrap!

Last client session finished for the year!

Firstly, I want to thank and acknowledge all my clients for their commitment to the coaching programme and bravery to take the steps needed to improve their career wellbeing (and overall wellbeing as a result!).

Now that I have a minute to catch my breath and reflect on the year, I realise what a ride it’s been.

I haven’t talked about this widely, but earlier this year I had a breast cancer scare. I don’t tend to share what’s going on for me but I will because some insights from that experience might be helpful for others.

This was my first major health scare and it came with the expected gamut of emotions – downplaying it at first and just grateful we’d caught whatever it was early, to then being a bit more concerned when realizing it was in fact early stages of cancer and a high grade at that.

Perhaps the most surprising response was my immediate reaction to the news I’d have to have three weeks of daily radiation following an operation.

Instead of “Okay, best I take a few weeks off and deal with this”, it was “Hmmm, how am I going to work this around my prebooked client sessions?”. I didn’t want to inconvenience them, and I certainly didn’t imagine taking time off after the radiation.

Once I paused to think about it and after a gentle reminder from a family member about putting my wellbeing first (and upon hearing that potential side effects of radiation can be extreme exhaustion), I did rearrange clients and take time off. And of course not one of my clients complained about the inconvenience.

But I still remain surprised by my immediate response. It just goes to show how insidious this need to please is and how we can all fall victim to putting others’ needs ahead of our own.

So that’s the key lesson I took from the experience, and I feel it’s a timely reminder for everyone – we have to be vigilant if we don’t want to fall into the people pleasing trap. It’s an unhealthy habit and default position that needs to change.

If we don’t change that default, it’s near impossible to establish and maintain healthy boundaries.

I know this can be easier said than done because it’s not what so many of us are used to – having healthy boundaries. I see people all the time putting others needs ahead of their own health and wellbeing, and so many who are burnt out or struggling to create any kind of sustainable balance in their home and work lives.

Perhaps this is a good time of year for reassessing how well you’re doing at meeting your own health and wellbeing needs.

As my own story shows, sometimes we need other people to help us reflect or give gentle reminders. What would your friends and family say about your wellbeing levels and work life balance?

Importantly, how well equipped do you feel to say no to requests of your time? Remember that everything you say yes to, you are saying no to something else. Your time is limited and it is yours to give away – or not.

I hope that in 2024 you will give yourself permission to put your needs first and make a habit of thinking about ways in which you can thrive.

I think we can all take inspiration from Maya Angelou’s famous words: “My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humour, and some style.”

I’ll be taking my own advice and having a summer break, enjoying the flower garden and spending time with friends and family. I’ll also be even vigilant about meeting my own needs and self care!

Before I sign off for 2023 though, a thank you to all my lovely clients – it’s been a pleasure. And thank you to everyone who has supported me in my business, and life!

Very much looking forward to 2024. Back in January! x