Why I wouldn’t trade 60 for 20 – a reflection on ageing, purpose, and freedom

I recall years ago, Meg Ryan – a Hollywood actress in her 40s  – was asked in an interview whether she felt upset about ageing. Her response was: “Why? What’s the alternative?”

A great response. And as I’ve been celebrating a significant milestone birthday I’ve been thinking about that.

I’m not sad about getting older. I’m grateful that it is this and not the alternative.

Grateful to be here. To be healthy. To be doing work I care about, and living a life that feels like something I chose on purpose.

There is something quite liberating that comes with age. I recall a real shift when I turned 50. After decades of striving – trying to measure up, do more, be more – I made a conscious decision to stop. I remember thinking: 

“Actually, I am enough. Anything I do from here on is out of choice – not because I need to prove something”.

That reframe – from self doubt to self-acceptance and compassion – was hugely freeing.

Now, with the next significant birthday, it feels like I get to take that to another level. That is, not just relief from the old pressures – but actually enjoying life more.

Right on cue, the algorithms have filled my social media feed with positive ageing quotes. One of them was Jane Fonda referencing research on the ‘U-curve of happiness’ – the idea that we’re often happiest early in life, and again later in life. And I can see that. 

Yes, there was fun to be had in my younger years. But when I look back, that fun often sat alongside a lot of stress and uncertainty – trying to figure out who I was, getting pulled in directions I might not have chosen had I not been trying to fit in.  

There are fleeting moments of nostalgia, of course. But I wouldn’t trade this for that.

Getting older with a stronger sense of self is so much better. Now, fun and enjoyment feels more grounded.

What makes me even more grateful is knowing I can help others come to these realisations, often much earlier than I did.

I often see clients in their 40s or 50s – still stuck in striving mode, unsure why things feel off. They’ve outgrown the version of work they built. Their values have changed. Their needs have shifted.

I recognise that stage. And it’s incredibly rewarding to support people as they reconnect with who they are now, and start making choices that reflect what really matters to them. And when they do, life feels a lot better.

So no, I’m not feeling down about turning 60. I’m looking ahead – with a lighter step and a growing sense of fun!

Because what’s the alternative?